On Forgiving & Forgetting

| April 27, 2012 | 0 Comments

Often I don’t really forgive because I fear the person will do the same thing to me again… that they really haven’t changed, and they should change if they are to be deserving of my forgiveness.

But we don’t forgive people; we forgive their mistakes.

When I forgive someone’s mistake by not punishing them, I not only diminish the possibility of making the same mistake myself, I also become a different person.

The act of forgiving a mistake will change you.

We forgive by seeing past someone’s mistakes to who they really are; and by being able to see that, we ourselves are changed.

And because I am different, that situation can’t occur in the same way with that person. I would not react as I did in the past. I am now able to give “loving correction” to the person, not just react to their mistake.

When we speak to each other as human beings, not as our mistakes, real progress can be made for everyone.

On forgetting…

Also, I think we will remember a person’s mistake to the extent that we unable to see the person as distinct from their mistake. That’s why often we say: “mi figive har, but me nah figet… far she nuh change!”

Not being able to forget a mistake is a failure to lose yourself in the reality of who we really are. It is an expression of the fear of loss.

Forgiving a mistake, seeing past it to the person’s essence, and forgetting — operating securely in a new chosen reality, is what changes us.

It may be that forgiving and forgetting are the perquisites for our evolution.

And it is challenging and ongoing work!



April 27, 2012


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Category: From the Editor, Thought of the Day


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